The Diaries: Leap Day, stories of loss and renewal
Feb 29 – Leap Day
Every life is, to some degree, the story of loss. And renewal. But while the latter brings energy, joy, a feeling of goodness, the prior may take years, or a lifetime, to ever understand – to cope with.
It begins with the loss of an age, which we dubiously call the ‘loss of innocence’.
Then comes the loss of parents’ supernatural powers.
And the loss of a friend or neighbor who must leave, the loss of a grandparent or elderly, the loss of a brother, a mother, a loved one… the loss of anything that we have once loved, same love which had once – and sometimes still does – caused us to wish that thing (perhaps undeservedly) to be permanent.
“Humans are caught […] in a net of good and evil. I think this is the only story we have and that it occurs on all levels of feeling and intelligence.”
– J. Steinbeck, East of Eden
Early afternoon. A deer and her fawn scamper out of sight, behind the tree trunks, squirrels clatter down the warming bark of the cedars, a chipmunk sits still on the wooden deck, primly, as though the proprietor himself.
Redrik and I moved from Jackson Heights at the beginning of the week, to his grandpa’s place across the Hudson and George Washington Bridge, in New Jersey.
Jolly Roger moved from Europe for work in early 70s, naturalized. He doesn’t like pizza but still at his age will have an occasional Whopper from the BK. JR tells us stories about work-leisureful trips to LA and Vegas.
“It was 2:30 in the morning, and she tells me, let’s go get something to eat. They eat at all times in this country. Eh, I was ready to go to bed with her.”
“Go ahead, toss it to the wide receiver,” says Jolly Roger, pushing his empty wine glass to the middle of the table. Redrik pours a glass-sized tear of red wine.
Jolly Roger grumbles about the small size of the full glass.
“Beer is like soda,” says JR.
The last days have been rough. Energy levels have slumbered and I can’t seem to focus as much as needed on the project anymore. Now should be the time though.
Now, and only now, are things about to get Real.
One thing is sure: I cannot allow myself to dwell in these poor spirits as part 2 gears up – it is a matter of days now, and this must be resolved urgently.
Redrik hasn’t been in high moods either, and despite my efforts to sway tides I’m afraid this has proven more contagious than I feared. I guess he’ll be telling more about his side of the story soon, “where he’s coming from.”
Ever wished you could leave it all behind? Yeah, everybody does at times. A crap job, or so many other things, reasons, and people…
Anyway, we’ll be on the road soon. The stars will align, I trust. They must. It’s always a story of loss. And renewal.
The road test is scheduled March 13th. Only then will more cards be turned. The open road will then sprawl ahead, and with it new horizons. Problems will unfurl, ravellings will unravel.
We’re headed to a fun party tonight. Perhaps some heart-altering stories will emerge.
Other than that, the recent debacles with Fanta may open some unsuspected doors. Car doors, that is. Nothing is certain though, we have not yet reached the Rubicon river. The die remains in hand.
If something were to work out though, it would be a substantial upgrade (and an incongruous contrast with good ol’ Fanta, who would have to go…). Loss, and renewal.
Share the road…
PS: up next a short video using some New York footage of taxi drivers as well as a ‘surprise’, to mark the beginning of Part 2. I can only hope it will be received with appropriate lightness… we are still working out the mechanisms of content production for part 2, and we hope to play with new formats, ‘characters’, tones and storytelling, but these remain in the making. Thanks!